I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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