The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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