What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
