so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
