I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
