My Higher Power is John Stamos
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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