yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
