I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
