i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
