somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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