11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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