She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
