I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
