More tranny stories later!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Everclear isn't food dammit
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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