I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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