We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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