I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
