Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
