I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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