oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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