somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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