just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
