the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
