when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
