OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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