only if we run a train.
done.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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