How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
