We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
