It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
