He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
