Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
