dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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