Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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