He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Come share oat with me in your robe
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
