If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
