Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
