16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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