dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just gift wrapped bread.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
