its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
