can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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