He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
