I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My liver just had a heart attack.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
