Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
