At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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