I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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