I hate your face
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
