My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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