hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
