she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
