if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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