i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
