I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
