I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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